You can have information or you can have a life, but you can't have both. — Douglas Coupland Copy Share Image
Astronaut restaurant review from the moon: The food is fine but there's not much atmosphere. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
'Bathtub' spelled backwards is still'bathtub'. It's not, but for a second there, you believed me :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have clothes all over my floor. ;) ...Mostly because I don't do my laundry. — Santana Copy Share Image
“You aren’t allowed back until you’ve learned to willingly suspend disbelief.” — Rebecca Murphy Copy Share Image
God has not sent a woman on the earth to 'fulfill' lustful physically satisfaction of the man only, rather she has sent… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
I do find it funny, actually, why I'm not more of a Corbyn fan. I am a classic Corbyn fan, really. Not… — Jess Phillips Copy Share Image
I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
“It was a fine day by London's standards. Which meant it was a day slightly less likely to suffocate you and poison… — Stefan Bachmann Copy Share Image
So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal'… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I was watching the Animal Planet. Did you know that the male seahorse has the baby? Why don't they just call that… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
Its that awkward moment when your trying to take a picture of the without them knowing…then your flash goes off. — Stacie Watts Copy Share Image
Its funny when you pretend to write something when the teacher is coming closer while you cheating on exam..and when they cross… — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
Having a dog is my favorite way to avoid the responsibility of having children. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bad English was the second language of Israel and bad Hebrew, of course, remained the national language. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
It's all fun and games until someone calls the cops. Then it's a new game; Hide and Seek. — Psyche_Zeroh Copy Share Image
If you listen to your own voice, unknown friends will come and seek you. — Megan McDonald Copy Share Image
What God arranges for us to experience at each moment is the best and holiest thing that could happen to us. — Jean-Pierre de Caussade Copy Share Image
It is in the nature of foolish reasonings to seem good to the foolish reasoner. — George Eliot Copy Share Image
Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
A bikini is like a barbedwire fence. It protects the property without obstructing the view. — A Josland Copy Share Image
With age come the inner, the higher life. Who would be forever young, to dwell always in externals? — Elizabeth Cady Stanton Copy Share Image
“How do you know?” “Well, I don’t, I’m making this up, but I bet I’m right.” — Robyn Carr Copy Share Image
If these two are tired of having sex with each other, what hope is there for the rest of us? — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can’t repeat the past.” “Can’t repeat the past?” he cried incredulously. “Why of course you can! — F. Scott Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
To be creative and spontaneous, you have to live with imperfection. — John Abercrombie Copy Share Image
I have always reckoned myself among the greatest admirers of Mozart, and shall do so till the day of my death. — Ludwig van Beethoven Copy Share Image
Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
