I think there are a lot of shows out there that value being hip or cool over being funny and heartfelt. — Alex Hirsch Copy Share Image
Photography was the only thing that mattered in my life and I gave it everything. — Anton Corbijn Copy Share Image
I have issues with food and weight and I can make that funny. The audience loves it. I have fun with it. — John Pinette Copy Share Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now.” — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
I guess you were just one of those people that walked into my life, taught me a lesson, and then walked away — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The audience is so important. Because there's something that I might think is super funny, but if it's just not getting the… — Ali Wong Copy Share Image
I wasn't the class nerd, but I was weird. I could tell long stories and be funny, but I couldn't do sports.… — Charles Ray Copy Share Image
“... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be… — E.A. Bucchianeri Copy Share Image
Basically Ken is a very gentle, home-loving person. I remember when one of his stick insects had a knee infection. He stayed… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I Just got finished going 2 the dentist for a teeth cleaning its important to take care of yo hygiene becuz u… — Dante Copy Share Image
I just went home to Illinois, and I asked my family, 'Are you guys planning on talking in those accents the whole… — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A real man knows how to comfort his woman in good or bad situations. He's one of the reasons why she's always… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Conversation between me and my enemy…'DUDE I SAW U ON TV!!'...'REALLY MAN?! WHERE!!'…'ANIMAL PLANET'. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
We realized that no one of us could be as good as all of us playing unselfishly. — Bill Bradley Copy Share Image
Seeing a spider isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears. — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
“Once I started I couldn’t put it down. It was so addictive . . . like a train wreck.” — Katie Klein Copy Share Image
At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
The thing that's wrong with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
Beauty can come from the strangest of places, even the most disgusting of places, — Alexander McQueen Copy Share Image
Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten. — Rachel Zucker Copy Share Image
“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It seems that for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential. — Hans Asperger Copy Share Image
