“Thank goodness, I can always find something funny to keep me up.” — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
Everything can be sacrificed for truth, but truth cannot be sacrificed for anything. — Swami Vivekananda Copy Share Image
By coming forward and sharing your story, you don't know the countless lives you change. — Mariska Hargitay Copy Share Image
If you're not doing it for Allah, then don't expect any help from Allah. — Omar Suleiman Copy Share Image
There is no pme who became rich because he broke a holiday, no one became fat because he broke a fast. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men. — Aristotle Copy Share Image
When you have inspired thought, you have to trust it and you have to act on it. — Jack Canfield Copy Share Image
West Germans are tall, pink, pert and orthodontically corrected, with hands, teeth and hair as clean as their clothes and clothes as… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got a hotel room at New York New York in Las Vegas and I was very happy. They've got that rollercoaster… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“She's your lobster. C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually… — Phoebe Buffay Copy Share Image
There's an old saying among scientific guys: "You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs, ideally by dropping a cement truck on… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“You should have been born a poet,” she whispered as she pulled away. “Screw that,” he laughed as he placed a gentle… — Amelia Hutchins Copy Share Image
Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Austin Theory's young, super-talented and thinks he's the cat's meow. But I'm just going to punish him. It's going to be pretty… — Roderick Strong Copy Share Image
Did you study for the test? .. Nerd: All week long. ... Normal People: I read the chapter. ... Me: What test?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card. — Charles M. Schulz Copy Share Image
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Serena had to cross her legs: in moments of dire amusement her bladder tended to play tricks.” — A.P Copy Share Image
If you're reluctant to weep, you won't live a full and complete life. — Ray Bradbury Copy Share Image
I wish I were dumber so I could be more certain about my opinions. It looks fun. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When no one is watching: Like a boss. When everyone is looking: Utter dumbass fail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best feeling when u get out da shower & u can walk around ya spot nake — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
Men are like...Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool — E. W. Howe Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night.. you were trying to give coordinates to an apple” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
You shouldn't go to college unless God has definitely called you to go. — Keith Green Copy Share Image
If you truly have it, you never lose it; and if you lose it, you never truly had it. — R. C. Sproul Copy Share Image
“All I know is that when I whisper to dirt, my conversations are less than meaningful.” — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. — Mickey Rooney Copy Share Image
A girl never gets mad for no reason. It may be over something small and stupid but there is still a reason. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If someone says money is not everything, it means that he either has nothing or a lot of it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
When I write something down it doesn't look funny to me. It's about the environment, it's all in the moment. — John Bishop Copy Share Image
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
