I was born intelligent but education ruined it. just kidding — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. — W. H. Auden Copy Share Image
If you don't do stupid things when your young, then you won't have funny stuff to talk about when you get old. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has it ever occurred to you that you can only love when you are alone? — Anthony de Mello Copy Share Image
Laughter is the best medicine... but if you laugh for no reason, you need a medicine... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You’ve never reacted to someone else. You project meaning onto nothing. And you react to the meaning you’ve projected — Byron Katie Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The funny thing about acting is, there's no 'right' way to make it. Some people need to work their butts off, and… — Alexander Dreymon Copy Share Image
Some of the events in the Olympics don't make sense to me. I don't understand the connection to any reality... Like in… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
“Snake pulled out the digital camera and decided to play a joke on Otacon. He snapped a picture of the pinup, muttered,… — Raymond Benson Copy Share Image
And while all of your friends are grieving at your wake, I hope the sprinkler system turns on and sprays them with… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I was a little bit ashamed of American TV because I thought, 'None of the shows my father works on are as… — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
It is only after that we understand what has come before, then we understand nothing. Thus we shall define the soul as… — R. Scott Bakker Copy Share Image
Something rubs off from everything you read, observe, and tinker with. — R. F. Delderfield Copy Share Image
Yo can’t reason someone out of something he didn’t reason himself into. — Jonathan Raymond Copy Share Image
Maydens, be they never so foolyshe, yet beeing fayre they are commonly fortunate. — John Lyly Copy Share Image
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are more 'Don'ts' in golf than there are in any other avocation in life. — Arnold Haultain Copy Share Image
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos? — Ron Alderson Copy Share Image
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be the first. It didn't matter where you start counting from. — Pranav Copy Share Image
But it's funny how the memory works and how sometimes we just belive whatever we want. — Chris Bohjalian Copy Share Image
Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Being so pale, your mom has to make you wear blush someday's ._. Cause otherwise you'd look like a ghost…lol — Rachel Copy Share Image
Out of a hundred years a few minutes were made that stayed with me, not a hundred years. — Antonio Porchia Copy Share Image
Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically. — Julie Klausner Copy Share Image
If you can't pay for a thing, don't buy it. If you can't get paid for it, don't sell it. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Its useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
