Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold." — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
When you are getting beat to death, get your head out of the mixer. — Richard Dennis Copy Share Image
In general, I gravitate toward anything where I can be funny, but as a consumer myself, I enjoy dramedies. — Ego Nwodim Copy Share Image
It's better to do nothing with your money than something you don't understand. — Suze Orman Copy Share Image
Afraid of death? Not at all. Be a great relief. Then I wouldn't have to talk to you. — Katharine Hepburn Copy Share Image
“What the hell?” Ian asked, holding his hands over the front of his Christmas briefs. Sara had ordered them from the Internet,… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care… — April Gornik Copy Share Image
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I regret behaving badly when I was younger. I did not know any better at the time. The thing is that the… — Jim Broadbent Copy Share Image
Scenes change all the time. Scenes will change while you're shooting them, and you just have to roll with it 'cause that's… — Yara Shahidi Copy Share Image
There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I was a business major at the University of Richmond, and after I graduated, I took a job at a corporate ad… — Lil Dicky Copy Share Image
I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television.… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
The sooner you learn it's on you to make life interesting, the better off you'll be. — Maria Semple Copy Share Image
You would be amazed how much I'm wrong when people say guess what. — Celeste Hartman Copy Share Image
Some people have the time but they don't have time while others have time but do not have the time. — Jacques Prevert Copy Share Image
When we exist, death is not yet present, and when death is present, then we do not exist. — Epicurus Copy Share Image
Everything in your business can be outsourced... if you're not emotionally attached to doing it all. — Richard Branson Copy Share Image
I was never one who looked at success as bad. For me, success was always good. I loved it, and still do. — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
“Sometimes, if you close your eyes and keep still, you can be invisible. Ostriches know this." - Constantine” — Jamie Delano Copy Share Image
Film Twitter is a funny place. I often dip my toe into it. I'm entertained and horrified in equal measures. — Harris Dickinson Copy Share Image
I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money. — Stephen Schneider Copy Share Image
I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true. — Edmund Hillary Copy Share Image
What you know you know. What you don't know, you don't know. This is knowledge. — Confucius Copy Share Image
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a broad comic, but I think I can be funny and I think I make people laugh. — Lennie James Copy Share Image
And who are the greater criminals-those who sell the instruments of death, or those who buy them and use them? — Robert E. Sherwood Copy Share Image
You can listen to what people say, sure. But you will be far more effective if you listen to what people do. — Seth Godin Copy Share Image
“Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?” — L.J. Smith Copy Share Image
