10 minutes... No text back? Looks like Im going to sleep now. OH NOW YOU DECIDE TOREPLY!? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary. — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
Every city I go to is an opportunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii. — Tony Bennett Copy Share Image
That awesome moment when the whole class laughed at what you said, so you just sit there like a boss. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Followers, because calling them The people who are witnessing your failure is too sad. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Normally I’d run off in the other direction when faced with a man wearing what were essentially pyjamas to work, but this… — Josephine Myles Copy Share Image
When I first started, I wasn't trying to go viral. I just liked making funny videos, content that people would enjoy. — Lil Nas X Copy Share Image
It's funny how concert dreams are such a recurring thing among musicians. It's like how everyone has that dream of their teeth… — Kevin Parker Copy Share Image
The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for… — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
Remember how he handled the Iran-contra Never Ending Scandal from Hell? He went on national television, the President of the United States,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“How to Be a Man Step One: Eat a steak, preferably raw. If you can find a juicy steer and just maw… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
“I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much… — Tad Williams Copy Share Image
Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Like backstage, I just peed like every 3 seconds. I think yur staff thinks I have diarrhea. — Jennifer Lawrence Copy Share Image
Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction. — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
The predation of wolves and women by those who misunderstand them is strikingly similar. — Clarissa Pinkola Estes Copy Share Image
The new is not revealed to those whose eyse are fastened in worship upon the old. — Albert Pinkham Ryder Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched. — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
People always ask me why everyone calls me black (im white)...now I just tell them its because I'm gifted — Luke Collins Copy Share Image
“Her face looked like a fruit from which all the juice had been sucked.” — Brian Herbert Copy Share Image
I went to a 7-11 and asked for a 2x4 and a box of 3x5's. The clerk said, "ten-four." — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“If my name was Richard, I'd go by Richard or Rich...not Dick. Hell I'd even settle for being called Chard.” — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
When you are in the dark and you can't see anything, something is looking at you seeing everything — Zak Bagans Copy Share Image
Steve Kerr, now coaching Golden State after eight tumultuous and very inconsistent years at TNT. — Marv Albert Copy Share Image
Another day at work...I'm having as much fun as a colorblind person playing twister. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sister to sister we will always be, a couple of nuts off the family tree. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
