If I had all the money I've spent on drink — I'd spend it on drink. — Vivian Stanshall Copy Share Image
It's so important to wake up and immediately start starring shit. Stupid Twitter ruined my poo time! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start. — E. W. Howe Copy Share Image
The Americans sowed the seed, and now they have reaped the whirlwind — Sebastian Coe Copy Share Image
We cannot enter into the presence of God while we are rebelling against God. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!" — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I was the funny one in my group; there was a lot pressure to be responsible for everyone's happiness. I didn't like… — Lucy Dacus Copy Share Image
“I wanted to call you, but I find myself feeling...awkward when it comes to you." "'Awkward' is the word du jour," I… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You're unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of… — Richard P. Feynman Copy Share Image
Tom Hardy is such a good egg. He's a total teddy bear. He loves his dogs and his kids. He's a true… — Jessie Buckley Copy Share Image
“What I don’t get is how this helps me. You two get superpowers, and I get what?”Cian smiled broadly. “You have a… — Sophie Oak Copy Share Image
It is not difficult to climb the ladder of success if your father made it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
“I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me.” — M.D. Saperstein Copy Share Image
A bargain is something you have to find a use for once you have bought it. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
Dear Girls, If a Boy Answers your Phone call during CHRIS GAYLE's Batting, He truly Loves you, Marry him — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me. — Stephen Fry Copy Share Image
You only live once, for a very short time. So make every second devine. — Mitch Lucker Copy Share Image
There's a funny kind of family thing that happens with every production. — Nicholas Hammond Copy Share Image
Hansie Cronje. Honestly. I got out to Hansie more than anyone.I never knew what to do with him — Sachin Tendulkar Copy Share Image
Controls them and subdues, transmutes, bereaves Of their bad influence, and their good receives. — William Wordsworth Copy Share Image
My wife and I ran through 'Justified' in, like, a day. And that is such a funny, amazing show. — Adam Pally Copy Share Image
When the truth cannot be clearly made out, what is false is increased through fear. — Quintus Curtius Rufus Copy Share Image
I hope they understand that I really understand That they don't understand — Kid Cudi Copy Share Image
“How now, my sweet creature of bombast! How long is't ago, Jack, since thou saw'st thien own knee?” — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Modern houses are so small we've had to train our dog to wag its tail up and down and not sideways. — Tacitus Copy Share Image
You can take the woman outta the trash, but you can't take the trash out a the woman. — Charles de Lint Copy Share Image
Janetty tried to dive through the window to escape, what an act of cowardice. — Bobby Heenan Copy Share Image
