Sometimes you just have to sit down and ask your parents if they sold your soul. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
I wish people would learn from their mistakes and not keep making the same exact ones, damaging themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.” — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Always watch your step on an escalator. I once tripped and fell down the stairs for an hour and a half — Azgraybebly Joslan Copy Share Image
There's something about [cyclically] doing something over and over and over that seems to be particularly demotivating. — Dan Ariely Copy Share Image
“She said, “Look me right in the eye, and tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll go.” He stared at her.… — John C. Wright Copy Share Image
If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
My dad is funny in his own way, and so is my brother, but in terms of legitimately making a lot of… — Mindy Kaling Copy Share Image
“Dick called, but he just left dirty voice-mail messages. Let's just say if I'm ever in the market for a massage involving… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. — Dodie Smith Copy Share Image
I firmly believe that if the whole material medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I was shy,” said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.” — Anne Gracie Copy Share Image