Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
What Bollywood film titles would look like if 'dil' (heart) were replaced with 'anda' (egg) — Hum Aanda De Chuke Sanam and several others.
Agar "Dil" ko aanda(egg) kehtey
to indian films k naam aisay hote
Hum Aanda de chuke sanam,
Yeh aanda aapka huwa,
Hum aap k aanday main rehte hain,
Aandy waale Bread le jayienge....
A mother cycles through every food she can think of and the child refuses all of them. Final verdict: you take after your father, you're getting a slap.
Mom: Beta khana khayega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Ladu khaiyega??
Beta: Na
Mom: Mithai Khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom:ice creame khaiyega?
Beta: Na
Mom: Baap pe gaya hai THAPAR hi khayega!
A Pathan asks an elder a completely innocent question about Independence Day prayers — gets two slaps before anyone can clarify.
1 pathan ne 1 buzrug se kuch pocha,
Buzrug ne 2 thapar laga diye
1 admi ne pathan se pocha,
tumne kia bola tha..??
Pathan:Maine sirf pocha k
14 August ki namaz kahan ho gi?
A doctor writes a verse about the awkward reality of working at the same hospital as his wife — he's required to call her 'Sister.'
Ek sher doctor ki zubani:
Hoon main doctor jahan,
meri wife hai nurse wahan,
Yeh kaisa zulm sehna parh raha hai,
mujhe apni wife ko "SISTER" kehna parh raha
A miser saved a life today: asked a beggar what he'd do with a thousand rupees, heard 'die of joy,' and wisely kept his wallet shut.
1 kanjoos dosray say:
Aaj main ney ek jaan bachai.
Wo aise bachai k Faqeer sai pocha:
1000 ka note dun to kiya karega?
Wo bola, Khushi se mar jaunga.
Main nay kaha ja nahin deta:p
A romantic approach that gets shut down the moment money comes up — no money means instant 'bhai' (brother) status.
Maine kaha dilruba,
Usne kaha paise dikha,
Maine kaha paise nahi,
Usne kaha aise nahi,
Maine kaha mehengai hai,
Usne kaha ja tu mera bhai hai.
A philosophical SMS about what you came into the world with and what you'll leave with — ending in a dig about saving money to install CNG in your phone.
Kiya lay ker ayai thay----?
Kiy lay kar jao gay...??
Mujhey SMS nahin kar k
kitnay paisay bachao gay?
Itnay paisay bacha ker kya.....
.
.
.
Mobile main CNG lagwao gay:p
Traces what love means depending on who it's for — parents, siblings, wife — then lands on the wife version: Chunnu, Munnu, Guddu, Pappu.
Yeh Pyar b na Ajeeb Cheez hai
Maa se ho to Ibadat
Baap se ho to Muqaddas
Bhai se ho to Aqeedat
Behn se ho to Farz
Aur BV se ho to.
Chunnu, Munnu, Guddu, Pappu
Two friends attempt suicide; one asks God for all the world's suffering. The second friend says that's just a Microsoft job listing.
2 Dost Suicide kernay gayai,
Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan mujhey
dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani
de Dukh de!"
Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang
raha hai k Microsoft main Job."
A backhanded compliment SMS: your smile is so lethal it's reducing the population, so please stop before everyone's gone today.
Suna hai ki aap ki ek smile par log marte hai....
So keep smiling .... to reduce population.
Aab bas bhi karo... sab ko aaj hi tapkana hai kya??
A friendship blessing poem that takes a sharp turn at the end — the wish is that you do all the work while the sender collects the salary.
anso tumare niklein ankhein meri hon,
dil tumara dhadk dhadkane meri hon,
KHUDA KARE,
hamari dosti itni gahri ho,
K
naukri tum karo salary meri ho.
A baby is born and immediately asks the nurse for a phone — to send God a missed call confirming safe arrival on earth.
1 baccha paida hote hi nurse se bola: "Mobile hai kya ?"
Nurse boli - hai, lekin karega kya ?
Baccha: kuch khaas nahi,
sirf God ko Miss call karna hai....
ki mai zameen par paunch gaya.