Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
Power cut at night; husband asks wife to fan him. She refuses — if she fans him, the candle will go out.
1 night bijli chali gae...
PATHAN APNI BIVI SAY:
oye kam se kam pankha to chala day.
BiWI: kar di na phir pathano wali baat...
pankha chalaingay to mombatti bujh nahin jayegi
A promise to always answer when called — unless the phone is on silent and I'm asleep, in which case, understood.
1 bar jan maang ker to daikho,
.
.
.
1 bar yaad ker k to daikho..
.
.
.
agar main na aaya to samajh laina
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
main soya howa hon aur mobile silent pe hai...
Punjabi SMS: she kept writing 'love' and he kept reading 'leave', she wrote 'kiss' and he read 'kash' — he was apparently taking a language course.
o love love likhdi rahi,
main leave leave parda reya,
o kiss kiss likhdi rahi,
main kash kash parda rea,
o via ker k chali gae,
main language course kearda rea!
Opens with poetic imagery of flowers and the sun sending greetings — then reveals it was actually the electricity company sending the darkness and heat.
Pholon ne amrit ka jaam bheja hai,
Sooraj nay gagan se salam bheja hai,
Mubarak ho aap ko yeh andhaira or garmi,
Tah-e-dil se "K.E.S.C" / wapda walon na ye paigham bheja hai
A witch stops a Sardar in a jungle and announces what she is. Sardar says he knows — one of them lives at his house.
A sardar passing through a jungle.
A churail stops him & says:
HOO HOO HA HA,Main churail hoon.
Sardar: janta hoon teri ek behan
mere ghar main bhi hai.
Claims you know nothing of sorrow or heartbreak — because you've always licked envelopes shut rather than sealing them with tears.
Tumhain kia pata gum kia hai,
Tumhain kia pata gum kisay kehtay hain,
Tum kia jano gum kia chiz hai,
Tum nay to hamesha
.
.
.
thook se hi envolope chipkaya hay :-) hehee
Encourages a friend to write poetry like the sender — people throw eggs and tomatoes, which at least solves the dinner problem.
Ae dost tu bhi likha kar shayri...
Meri tarah tera bhi naam ho jayega,
log phainkaingay anday tematar,
To raat ki sabzi ka intezaam ho jayega
A list of superhuman feats — climbing trees, fetching magic herbs, splitting a chest — ending with: looking like a monkey doesn't make you Hanuman.
Kya tum pairr pe char sakte ho,
kya sanjivani buti la sakte ho,
kya sina cheer k dikha sakte ho,
nahi na,
beta kewal shakal bandar jaisi
hone se koi Hanuman nai hota.
Two vows taken today: never look at other girls, and never treat any girl as a stranger. They cancel each other out completely.
Aaj maine 2 qasam khai hain
1)Kisi bhi parayi larki pey nazar nahi dalunga
Aur
2) Kisi bhi ladki ko paraaya nahi samjhunga….
Grandfather asks his grandson to bring his false teeth from inside — not because food is ready, but to smile at the old lady across the street.
Dada: Puter ander sey merey dant tu ley aa,
Beyta: Mager dada g roti tu abhe bani nhe,
Dada: ohh nhee! beyta samney wali Budhi nu smile deyni hai
A friend's face described feature by feature in vegetable terms — lips like okra, cheeks like tomato, the whole face like cauliflower.
Lips Bhindi ki tarha,
Gaal Tamatar ki tarha,
Eyes Matar ki tarha,
Poora Face Gobih ki tarha,
Ya Allah Ek hi Dost diya,
Wo bhi Subzi Mandi ki tarha!!!
Yash Johar is reportedly casting for a new film and someone suggested your name. The movie is called 'Aqal Ho Na Ho' (Whether You Have Brains Or Not).
Yash Johar is producing a new film,
And is searching 4 new talent.
I¢â‚¬â¢ve suggested ur name.
Pls go & meet him.
The movie¢â‚¬â¢s name is
“AQAL HO NA HO”