Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett

““Oh... and Bacon Surprise.' REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON? 'I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a shock to the pig.””

Terry Pratchett

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“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”

Terry Pratchett

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“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as…

Terry Pratchett

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“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…

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“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…

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It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family…

Terry Pratchett

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You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.

Terry Pratchett

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Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.

Terry Pratchett

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“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…

Terry Pratchett

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A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.

Terry Pratchett

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“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.…

Terry Pratchett

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“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”

Terry Pratchett

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“There is a night that never comes to an end.... The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving…

Terry Pratchett

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'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,…

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If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?

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“I only have two words to say More or Less”

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“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor”

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Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett

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