Quote by Jarod Kintz

“I'm the bathroom master I'm a real bowl blaster Don't mess with me 'Cause I can mess it up faster With just one flush…

— R.U. Slime

“The closest my penis has come to my sexy coworker’s vagina, is piss splatters on the toilet seat at the office.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I don't like a clever toilet looking at our butts.”

— Emma Donoghue

“Always keep your mouth closed when cleaning the toilet.”

— Richard J Bell

“You're so full of crap, you could pass for a toilet.”

— Kami Garcia

“There’s an indoor toilet, he informs us (though, as we soon find out, this “toilet” is a terrifying open hole above the tracks).”

— Christina Baker Kline

“The man with two plungers for hands never wipes his ass, but he also never clogs up a toilet either.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I just sunk the Titanic in your toilet and now it’s clogged up, and I can’t get the fucker to flush.”

— Madeleine Beckett

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to turn you into a turd and flush you down the toilet?”

— Quinn Loftis

“I want to pour your voice into a goldfish bowl before flushing it down the toilet.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I…

— David Sedaris

“Go along with it, Ed. I am begging. I am on the ground begging you." "You're standing at a urinal about to take a…

— Cath Crowley