Inflated Quote by Jarod Kintz

“Swim. I shove myself off the dock with my feet and fucking flail as hard as I can.”

— Hannah Moskowitz

“Ship, lady. This here’s a ship,” he said defensively, as if she’d told him, “Your penis: I find it minuscule.”

— Kresley Cole

“My penis lay pathetically along my left thigh, like some small animal washed ashore.”

— Gillian Flynn

“If I fall in, I’m going to drown. The weights upon me are too heavy to stay afloat. My only option is to sink.”

— Katie McGarry

“My penis is like a wet noodle, only not as thick. Or tasty.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It is nothing to get wet; but the misery of these individual pricks of cold all over my body at the same instant of…

— Robert Louis Stevenson

“I am afloat on a sea of foaming joy and delight.”

— Anonymous

“Your penis will not shrivel up and die if you admit you want an umbrella instead of standing in the rain acting like a…

— Jenny O'Connell

“Far too many times in life we throw ourselves in ships without knowing how stable they are, or how deep is the water for…

— Nomthandazo Tsembeni

“Many a man ought to have a bath-tub larger than the boat which here rode upon the sea.”

— Stephen Crane

“No one is excluded from the astronaut corps based on penis size.”

— Mary Roach

“My sperm came out into the water, unaccustomed to the light, and instantly it became a misty, stringy kind of thing and swirled out…

— Richard Brautigan