Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I water my driveway, and I drive a hard bargain to work (it gets great gas mileage).”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.1 out of 5 (7 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“It’s not that I don’t have the drive to succeed, but rather I don’t have the gas.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I took a shower under a fountain drink machine at a gas station because it beats showering with unleaded gasoline at $3.33 a gallon… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It's a funny thing about Americans, we love to bitch about paying too much for the things we really need and are really a bargain, like gas and postage stamps, but we willingly shell out outrageous amounts for unnecessary crap like gourmet coffee and soap to make your crotch smell good. Two dollars a gallon to go ten miles is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I had a view of the water, a partial view of my neighbor's lawn, and the consoling proximity of millionaires -- all for eighty… — F. Scott Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
“I’d drive a thousand miles just to learn how to conserve gas and help save the environment. But that’s just who I am. I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The grass may be greener on the other side but the the water bill is higher.” — Tyler Perry Copy Share Image
“A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided to stop watering my living room carpet. Honk if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Cars in the driveway that run on prayers instead of gasoline. The American Dream in the darkest light possible.” — Aric Davis Copy Share Image
“One day I want to be so wealthy I can say to my wife, “let’s take a drive—to the end of our driveway and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Equilibrations If you walk back and forth through a puddle pretty soon you wet the whole driveway but of course dry the puddle up.” — A.R. Ammons Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
