Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I want to pour your voice into a goldfish bowl before flushing it down the toilet.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 5.0 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“If I ask for a goldfish, he spits a glob of phlegm into a jar of water.” — Eduardo C. Corral Copy Share Image
“My goldfish is swimming around all excited inside the fishbowl on the fridge so I reach up and drop a Valium in its water.” — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“We weigh ourselves down with so many obstacles we can't even buy a goldfish bowl.” — Barbara Sher Copy Share Image
“A fish in a bowl thinks to know it all, for it has never seen the ocean.” — Daniel Andersson Copy Share Image
“Toilet bowl basins need to be deeper, because every time I sit down my penis clogs the pipe.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You will need, after your journey, to refresh yourself by making your toilet.” — Bram Stoker Copy Share Image
“Every time I draw a clean breath, I'm like a fish out of water.” — Narcotics Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I launched into my speech, it took me a few seconds to realize that the only one listening was max (the dog) but at… — Sammi Carter Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
