Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I’m not stuck up. I’m constipated. ”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.2 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“I’m so constipated that every time I go to shit, the only thing that comes out is political rhetoric.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“we can't go on ... having regular bowel movements ... while creation happens!” — Poul Anderson Copy Share Image
“Of course I would fall for Captain Emotionally Constipated. I could train a rock to hold more affection for me.” — K.M. Shea Copy Share Image
“My stomach hurts, but if it's guilt or impacted stool, I can't tell. Either way, I'm so full of shit.” — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“In retrospect I can only call it a party in passing. If I can be completely frank, I’ve had crazier bowel movements.” — Corey Taylor Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
