Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““I’ll put an oven mitt on before I handle anything hot—including my penis.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.7 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“You won’t ever catch me wearing an oven mitt, because what’s wrong with a regular condom? If I’m wearing an oven mitt, I’m too… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“As a writer, I need more exposure. I think I’ll take off my pants. Would you mind if I kept my penis warm in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a sponsorship from an oven mitt manufacturer.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I should be the last person to tell you that the plate is hot after you have burned your fingers. ” — C.S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
