Alarms Quote by Demetri Martin Download Open image “A car alarm is a way for a car to tell everyone that its owner is an asshole.” — Demetri Martin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.3 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Alarms Car Owners Way
“Since nobody reacts to car alarms anymore, stop putting alarms in cars. Face it. At this point, car alarms are like Glenn Beck: annoying,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
“So you need an alarm system because you gonna be in bad neighborhoods?" "Actually, I sort of stole a car, and I'm afraid the… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
He put on his hat and wrapped his scarf around his jaw, but did without the wig and the sunglasses. He clicked his key… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
If you park next to me like an asshole, I'll make sure to open my door like an asshole and ding your car. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Bloomberg does not support the measure to silence the useless and maddening car alarm: he would rather impose himself on people than on mechanical… — Christopher Hitchens Copy Share Image
“During the first few minutes of the accident, more than 100 alarms went off, and there was no system for suppressing the unimportant signals… — Andrew Leatherbarrow Copy Share Image
A smart car is not just about giving you information, but it is also about keeping you safe. — Jensen Huang Copy Share Image
Car horns were invented to warn other drivers of your presence, not to express displeasure or greetings. — Ann Widdecombe Copy Share Image
I pulled into the Grand Union parking lot and drove to the end of the mall where the bank was located. I parked at… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
One of our needs in a very complex society, where we encounter more people every day than probably our ancestors encountered over their whole… — Paul Solman Copy Share Image
You protect your House with security system. your Car with alarm. Don't leave your most precious and valuable possession unguarded .TEMPTATION IS AN INVASION.… — Steve Bertie Copy Share Image
I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Were the life of man prolonged, he would become such a proficient in villainy, that it would become necessary again to drown or to… — Charles Caleb Colton Copy Share Image
There's a statement from several members of the Senate, both Democrats and Republicans, including the Democratic leader, Charles Schumer; John McCain, the chair of… — George Stephanopoulos Copy Share Image
Here in the UK the audience immediately reacts and they get the fact that: "What would be the most annoying thing in the world?"… — Duncan Jones Copy Share Image
It is a hard matter for a man to lie all over, nature having provided king's evidence in almost every member. The hand will… — Washington Allston Copy Share Image
Who then is free? the wise man who is lord over himself; Whom neither poverty nor death, nor chains alarm; strong to withstand his… — Horace Copy Share Image
Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm. — Allen Carr Copy Share Image
I understand the power and the alarm of words - Not those that they applaud from theatre-boxes, but those which make coffins break from… — Vladimir Mayakovsky Copy Share Image
I don't know who Azazel is," he said. "Isn't he the cat from The Smurfs?" He cast about , but Isabelle just looked up… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
The beloved may be treacherous, greasy-headed and given to evil habits, or else it can be a man in his late forties who works… — Kelly Link Copy Share Image
Those who have past much of their lives in this great city, look upon its opulence and its multitudes, its extent and variety, with… — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I continue to… — Jonathan Ames Copy Share Image
