Jonathan Ames

“I do think everyone would be a lot happier if we laid eggs on our own and could just have friendship and…

— Jonathan Ames

“Try to think about more important things,' he said. 'Think about your soul, your character. Think about the freezer. It's a solid…

— Jonathan Ames

It's hard to leave New York: this is where my friends are, my parents are. It is so vital. The whole world…

— Jonathan Ames

Unfortunately, I'm one of those idiots who knows everything about health and is in a constant state of alarm, and yet I…

— Jonathan Ames

I don't know that I've gotten much feedback directly from the literary world; sometimes I doubt even the notion that there is…

— Jonathan Ames

People don't expect too much from literature. They just want to know they're not alone with being confused.

— Jonathan Ames

I have very few hobbies. In fact, I have no hobbies.

— Jonathan Ames

It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back…

— Jonathan Ames

I wish we had a dog in the show so that I could get to be a dog for a day.

— Jonathan Ames

There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly.

— Jonathan Ames

“I know I experience great consolation when my mouth is between a woman’s legs. I think it must be because I’m drinking…

— Jonathan Ames

I might have some sort of personality disorder. I might not have proper filters; it might be some kind of version of…

— Jonathan Ames

I didn't play or like a lot of board games as a child. I liked playing with my G.I. Joes and making…

— Jonathan Ames

How terrible to be alcoholic. You just want to quietly soothe and maybe poison yourself, but you end up poisoning those around…

— Jonathan Ames

I always liked those characters in 'True Blood' who could turn into animals. I'd love to be an animal of some kind…

— Jonathan Ames

Maybe my work isn't a cry for help. It may just be a baby's need to cry or a dog's need to…

— Jonathan Ames

Now, all writing - all the arts - are a form of 'Pay attention to me,' but there's also the flip side.…

— Jonathan Ames

My sophomore English teacher encouraged me to write for the school paper, and that's what got me started. Suddenly it struck me…

— Jonathan Ames

For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated,…

— Jonathan Ames

“Aside from the possible scientific explanations for the death of ballsiness, there is an economic one, which I think may be the…

— Jonathan Ames

From age 23 to 44 - I'm 45 now - I was always in need of money, and I was especially in…

— Jonathan Ames

Don't hold me to anything in the book. I'm a waffler. I like wafflers. They said John Kerry was a waffler, but…

— Jonathan Ames

I don't really know the person who wrote the things I wrote. I kind of know him, but I change so much…

— Jonathan Ames

I'm a somewhat isolated person in my own way, or I move along a little trail, I go this place, I go…

— Jonathan Ames

Nothing wrong with changing your mind. That's a very unwaffling thing to say: "Nothing wrong..." Who am I to say that there's…

— Jonathan Ames