Sarcastic Quotes
891 Sarcastic quotes by 449 unique authors
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
— Aristotle
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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right.
— Isaac Asimov
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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
— Rowan Atkinson
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The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative…
— Rowan Atkinson
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People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure.
— Russell Baker
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Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
— John Barrymore
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You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
— John Barrymore
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What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.
— Roland Barthes
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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
— Jean Baudrillard
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Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.
— George Ade
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Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
— George Ade
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I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike…
— Kristen Bell
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She was what we used to call a suicide blonde - dyed by her own hand.
— Saul Bellow
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
— Robert Benchley
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I hope I never get so old I get religious.
— Ingmar Bergman
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Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
— Ambrose Bierce
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Laws are like sausages, it is better not to see them being made.
— Otto von Bismarck
Who Wrote These Sarcastic Quotes
449 authors contributed a total of 891 Sarcastic Quotes, led by these top contributors: