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Gonna Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
- I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But…
- Incubated. And then raised. And then beheaded. And then plucked. And then cut up. And then put on a grill. And then put on a…
- Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna, though. You bet…
- I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking…
- Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
- I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
- I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their…
- Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know, because what if they don't have a…
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- Of course, I think that people are just waiting for that time when I make a mistake and they're gonna jump on… — Justin Bieber
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- A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion.… — Lewis Black
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- Surfing is such an amazing concept. You're taking on Nature with a little stick and saying, 'I'm gonna ride you!' And a… — Jolene Blalock
- I don't know what kind of God the rest of y'all are serving, but the God I serve says, 'Mary, you need… — Mary J. Blige