Funny Quotes

52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors

The day when I am no more than a writer I shall cease to be a writer. — Albert Camus
To govern means to pillage, as everyone knows. — Albert Camus
Violence is both unavoidable and unjustifiable. — Albert Camus
We call first truths those we discover after all the others. — Albert Camus
I didn't study; I live. — Eric Cantona
What is the system? It revolves around the banks, the system is built on the power of the banks, so it can be destroyed through… — Eric Cantona
I don't know where my medals are. — Eric Cantona
To me not one thing is better than anything else, I'm completely proud of everything I've written and recorded. — Jerry Cantrell
Traffic was very, very free. It was great. — Jim Capaldi
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. — Truman Capote
I can see every monster as they come in. — Truman Capote
Don't live up to your stereotypes. — Sherman Alexie
I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier. — Steve Carell
Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv. — Steve Carell
I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and… — Steve Carell
There are many talented people. — Paula Abdul
I think anyone loves to play a character that is either evil to a certain extent or has a real definable character flaw. Those are… — Steve Carell
My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I… — Steve Carell
You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. What I'm saying is that I… — Steve Carell
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar. — Drew Carey
I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' — Drew Carey
I tried out for 'Jeopardy' once, when they came to Cleveland, but I didn't make it. — Drew Carey
TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but… — Drew Carey
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be… — Mariah Carey
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. — George Carlin

Who Wrote These Funny Quotes

14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: