Funny Quotes

52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors

If I meet you for a date and you do not look anything like your picture, then you are buying me drinks until you do. — Punkinhead Abhishek
When you cheat on a girl, you think she has to accept it,forgive you and continue, and is funny because at the end you have… — Maria
It's so extremely funny when people try to be cool around certain people.. And they are just embarrassing themselfs.. — Jasmine
Dad, Im hungry..Hi hungry, Im dad..Dad ! Im serious.. No, you're hungry.. You're joking.. No, I'm dad — Carissa Aydaa
If woman could read minds, every second man will get slapped. — Carissa Aydaa
You study, you pass, you get happy, you play, you tired, you sick, you die. So dont study . — Carissa Aydaa
If laughter is the best medicine, then how come people die laughing ?? — Carissa Aydaa
People say their can't live without love. But I think oxygen is more important . — Carissa Aydaa
3 things i've learned in school. Texting without looking, sleeping without getting caught and team work on tests ! — Carissa Aydaa
What if, one day you randomly wake up as a baby and realize that your whole life was just a DREAM ! — Carissa Aydaa
Shoot the moon — Carissa Aydaa
This is a test. — Carissa Aydaa
I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was… — Gabe Kaplan
Its funny how we started as strangers became friends, and then we were lovers, now we are strangers again. — Rashida Rowe
The less we know, the longer the explanation. — Unknown Author
Build a man a fire, and he will be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the… — Unknown Author
Last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know. — Groucho Marx
It feels so funny when we don`t know the place we are going to go is just right beside us. — Unknown Author
I hate when a people ask u money and they already own you money — IG:catone_2_funny
I dont like a female that WANT attention...bitch try N WANT some money — IG:catone_2_funny

Who Wrote These Funny Quotes

14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: