Funny Quotes

52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors

I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. — Rashida Rowe
Its better to be single, than to be with someone youre not happy with, and wish that you were. — Rashida Rowe
Probably the worst thing about being a penguin is after youre in an argument youll try to waddle away angrily but still look adorably cute — Ritu Ghatourey
Gas so high...im just start dating females in my zip code...so if we dont stay in the same zip code...we gotta long distance relationship — IG:catone_2_funny
What an astonishing thing a book is. It's a flat object made from a tree with flexible parts on which are imprinted lots of funny,… — Carl Sagan
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are strangers meant to come into your life to bring you priceless lessons and funny… — Punkinhead Abhishek
When I die I want someone to continue uploading my quotes, just to freak people out :) — Punkinhead Abhishek
I gotta question...Wtf is there handicap parking at the skating ring — IG:catone_2_funny
It's funny how you came back into my life after all these years.And now that we're older I don't just see you as my friend.I… — Nishan Panwar
If you don't know me like u should then font be judgeing let me be me and you be you I don't wanna be the… — Destiny
You can make your hair perfect, buy a $700 dress. But you are still you. You still do crazy things when no ones looking, you… — Levita Charin
Funny me — Reene
I dreamed like I killed you and you turned to be a ghost and then you haunting me and I killed you again.Now is that… — Farishta
Hey you.Fix your corrupted mind before you trying to fix me! You sucks. Yes. — Farishta
This is my freaking desktop background :D :D :D — Amber Hope
Isn't it funny how some one can say they care,And when you fuck up,they make you a target for messed up..It's no wander suicide rate… — Ayobami Oluwafemi Orokotan
Just finished deleting some friends on Facebook, if you can read this then you got lucky. — Unknown Author
Do you ever look at your friends and think why the hell arent we comedians? — Unknown Author
The best feeling in the world is when someone you hate tells a joke and nobody laughs :) — Unknown Author
You dont have to be crazy to hang out with me. Ill train you. Make your appointment today. — Unknown Author

Who Wrote These Funny Quotes

14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: