Funny Quotes

52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors

Yes,I cry.No,Im not okay.Maybe,I will get better.Sometimes,I want to die...But that's just my life sometimes, wanting to end my own life.Yes,Its sad.Well, My life is… — Jasmine
I have a lovely bunch of coconuts there they are standing in a row..big ones small ones some as big as your head! LionKing haha!… — Milana May
Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh. — Punkinhead Abhishek
It is better for girl to sleep a hundred years and be kissed and awakened by the right prince than to stay awake and be… — Bernajoy Vaal
It's funny how people that have to struggle and face adversities every day are closer nit than the people on easy street. — Stanley Victor Paskavich
My smart phone is lost. That makes two of us. — Unknown Author
What's better than a cherry topping off a cake? Swedish Fish! sugarkrazed — Milana May
*Engineesing student* Question: Why AMBULANCE is WHITE in color ?? (15 marks) . . Ans: AMBULANCE has OXYGEN cylinder, . Oxygen is a gas, .… — Melchor Lim
They keep saying there is a perfect person for everyone out there but I seriously think that mine got hit by a truck. — Bernajoy Vaal
My alarm is clearly jealous of my relationship I have with my bed — Tash Carter
Bitch I watch CSI I can let your death look like an accident — Tash Carter
A jealous woman carrys out better investigation than the FBI. — Tash Carter
Police officer to a drunk Guy:How high are u? Drunk guy:no officer that's wrong English,y0u sh0uld say.........Hi! How are you? — Melchor Lim
Kept my phone on silent ever since you got a ring.. (Funny right?) — Gangsta
This is my drink. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My drink is my best friend. It is my life. I… — Unknown Author
I asked my friend if he wanted to hear something funny, He said yes, I replied my wife left me. He waited a second and… — Stanley Victor Paskavich
8 year old kids today have Facebook, MacBook pro, iPhone, iPad. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination — Rashida Rowe
Dear middle finger, thanks for sticking up for me — Rashida Rowe
I hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone might kill you in the shower. — Rashida Rowe
That awkward moment when your mom sits down next to you while you're on the computer — Rashida Rowe

Who Wrote These Funny Quotes

14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: