Funny Quotes
52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors
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His resolve is not to seem the bravest, but to be.
— Aeschylus
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The Universe is worked and guided from within outwards.
— H. P. Blavatsky
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We must pronounce him fortunate who has ended his life in fair prosperity.
— Aeschylus
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God comes first - if I don't love him, I can't love anybody, and if I can't love me I can't love nobody.
— Mary J. Blige
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You either learn from your experiences or go back and do the same thing, and I learned from my experiences.
— Mary J. Blige
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You know a lot, but you don't know everything.
— Mary J. Blige
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As a kid, I dreamed about being onstage.
— Mary J. Blige
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I listen to gospel music.
— Mary J. Blige
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People come into your life and people leave it... you just have to trust that life has a road mapped out for you.
— Orlando Bloom
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I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that…
— Orlando Bloom
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Government is dysfunctional.
— Michael Bloomberg
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Nobody is going to delegate a lot of power to a secretary that they can't control.
— Michael Bloomberg
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We will rebuild, renew and remain the capital of the free world.
— Michael Bloomberg
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You can't depend on polls.
— Michael Bloomberg
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I find forgiveness to be really healthy.
— Ben Affleck
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I see myself as sexy. If you are comfortable with it, it can be very classy and appealing.
— Aaliyah
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Our time is so specialised that we have people who know more and more or less and less.
— Alvar Aalto
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It's nothing to be ashamed of to have a stutter.
— Emily Blunt
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I would love to be on Broadway!
— Emily Blunt
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I'm human, just like anybody else.
— Ben Affleck
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I've never held myself up particularly high when I had movies that worked, and I never held myself all that low when I had failures.
— Ben Affleck
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On the wagon sped, and I, as well as my comrades, gave a despairing farewell glance at freedom as we came in sight of the…
— Nellie Bly
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It's true that I suffered a lot, especially when I was younger.
— Andrea Bocelli
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The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh.
— Tom Bodett
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Listen, you only tease the ones you love.
— John Boehner
Who Wrote These Funny Quotes
14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: