Funny Quotes

52060 Funny quotes by 14453 unique authors

His resolve is not to seem the bravest, but to be. — Aeschylus
The Universe is worked and guided from within outwards. — H. P. Blavatsky
We must pronounce him fortunate who has ended his life in fair prosperity. — Aeschylus
God comes first - if I don't love him, I can't love anybody, and if I can't love me I can't love nobody. — Mary J. Blige
You either learn from your experiences or go back and do the same thing, and I learned from my experiences. — Mary J. Blige
You know a lot, but you don't know everything. — Mary J. Blige
As a kid, I dreamed about being onstage. — Mary J. Blige
I listen to gospel music. — Mary J. Blige
People come into your life and people leave it... you just have to trust that life has a road mapped out for you. — Orlando Bloom
I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that… — Orlando Bloom
Government is dysfunctional. — Michael Bloomberg
Nobody is going to delegate a lot of power to a secretary that they can't control. — Michael Bloomberg
We will rebuild, renew and remain the capital of the free world. — Michael Bloomberg
You can't depend on polls. — Michael Bloomberg
I find forgiveness to be really healthy. — Ben Affleck
I see myself as sexy. If you are comfortable with it, it can be very classy and appealing. — Aaliyah
Our time is so specialised that we have people who know more and more or less and less. — Alvar Aalto
It's nothing to be ashamed of to have a stutter. — Emily Blunt
I would love to be on Broadway! — Emily Blunt
I'm human, just like anybody else. — Ben Affleck
I've never held myself up particularly high when I had movies that worked, and I never held myself all that low when I had failures. — Ben Affleck
On the wagon sped, and I, as well as my comrades, gave a despairing farewell glance at freedom as we came in sight of the… — Nellie Bly
It's true that I suffered a lot, especially when I was younger. — Andrea Bocelli
The difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist laughs to forget, but a pessimist forgets to laugh. — Tom Bodett
Listen, you only tease the ones you love. — John Boehner

Who Wrote These Funny Quotes

14,453 authors contributed a total of 52,060 Funny Quotes, led by these top contributors: