Funny Quotes
- Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. — Erma Bombeck
- The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. — Erma Bombeck
- My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. — Erma Bombeck
- Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? — Erma Bombeck
- All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. — Erma Bombeck
- A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. — Erma Bombeck
- Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. — Erma Bombeck
- In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. — Erma Bombeck
- Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him… — Erma Bombeck
- History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- I have only one counsel for you - be master. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- The act of policing is, in order to punish less often, to punish more severely. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- I am the successor, not of Louis XVI, but of Charlemagne. — Napoleon Bonaparte
- You have to learn the language of Hamlet. — Edward Bond
- The French are so into themselves that they don't even notice you. — Unknown Author
- U2's best work has always been when we didn't know what we're doing. — Unknown Author
- Atheism is a religion itself complete with fanatics and bigots. — Vanna Bonta
- My business is to prevent the future. — Ray Bradbury
- I've always had this impulse to be destructive. — Russell Brand
- My mum brought me up on her own. All we really had was each other. — Russell Brand
- As a performer, I'm very, very confident in what I do. — Russell Brand
- I also do a lot of Kundalini yoga. — Russell Brand
- Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. — Daniel J. Boorstin