Hotel Quote by Bill Maher

What do hookers do on their nights off, type?

— Elayne Boosler

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.

— Steven Wright

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

— George Burns

If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.

— Ben Affleck

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker…

— Doug Stanhope

Cuddy: What are you doing here? A patient? House: No, a hooker. Came to my office instead of my home.

— House MD

Be generous in the bedroom. Share your sandwich.

— Homer

We're all hookers in one way or another.

— Kelly Cutrone

Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.

— Woody Allen

I felt very much like a hooker who had just been told she was a lady of the evening.

— Neil Gaiman

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang,…

— Louis C. K

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.

— Chelsea Handler