Imagine all the FUN shit we wouldn't have if stupid bitch Eve didn't take a bite from that apple. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I Just tasered a squirrel and now it's on the floor being a drama queen. — Nikhil Saluja Drama queen Copy Share Image
My girlfriend got secret weapons that prevent me from having to like football. They're called boobs. — Nikhil Saluja Football Copy Share Image
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. — Nikhil Saluja Dog Copy Share Image
Trying too hard to get my attention is the quickest way to make sure you get none of it. — Nikhil Saluja Focus Copy Share Image
Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook. — Nikhil Saluja Boy scout Copy Share Image
Took a compatibility test and the results said I get along best with beer. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The hospital lab is recruiting. They're looking for new blood. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I hate when police stop me and say stupid things like you're speeding and there is a hand hanging out the trunk… — Nikhil Saluja Stupid things Copy Share Image
Caught my 5 year old playing with my phone and she bought a gun online. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A girl gets in the mood quickly. The woman is always in the mood. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I know you're mad, so I'm gonna try not to fall asleep during this argument. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Children : The child is God's gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God… — Nikhil Saluja Children Copy Share Image
When life gives me lemons, I'm like What's the catch? Because in this expensive world no one's just giving away free lemons. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Stop pretending to be stupid on the internet. Just be yourself ... kinda stupid. — Nikhil Saluja Internet Copy Share Image
Don't wait for the perfect moment. Make the moment perfect. — Nikhil Saluja Perfect moment Copy Share Image
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: Gently aging, but still a warmand desirable place to visit. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: A contradiction in terms. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
