Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world. — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Not only did I lie about lying, but I lied about lying about lying. And you’d better believe that’s the truth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Hardly anybody tells the truth these days. For the truth I have to go to Washington DC, and whatever a politician says,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a penis enlargement aid. Just tie a string around both your penis and a brick, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s truth in only having a bicycle seat. I used to skip class and just hold it out in the hallway. When… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve spent half my life searching for the truth. The left half of my life.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do I attribute my success to hard work, or sunscreen? If you want the truth, maybe you should ask my new albino… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My ears are as blind as my eyes are deaf. But my nose, it can see the truth, except when I block… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Contribute to No More Lies Dot Org. Every dollar you donate will bring us 75 cents closer to the truth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I couldn’t pay the prostitute, and that’s the truth. She could have asked my wife, who would have told her that I’m… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket cold be used as truth. At least it’s so warm, it must be used that way. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you insist on digging for the truth, you can start at the cemetery. But not the one on the wealthy side… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were two lovers disguised as librarians. We met in the non-fiction section, and that’s the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Do either a brick or a blanket have Buddha nature? The answer is yes and no and maybe, in a Triangle of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not blanketing the truth when I say: Give a man a brick, and he’ll fish for a day. But give a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“-Do you see that? -Yeah, what is it? -That’s the truth. -How can you tell it’s the truth? -Because it’s ugly.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You don’t have the shadow volume to sit next to me in the sunshine of truth.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The days float on like a feather in the wind, but at the end of the week, I’m still a chicken. Taste… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Secure victory before you celebrate. Only a fool dances before crossing the finish line first.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondling it to find out.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The truth is I did try to stab him. I tried to stab him with a butter knife. Why? Because it seemed… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
