Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You cannot paint the exterior of your house. You have to take the paint chip down to show the paint-chip Nazis. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here's my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly, because the Reagan administration, as part of the same… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There are terrific TV shows now. This is a golden age for TV humor, I think. There's an actual market there. Of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay…” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c7c/dave-barry-222_bills_this-was-years-ago-i-think-during-the-ea_1154458.jpg)
