Presidential Quotes by David Letterman

13 Presidential quotes by David Letterman

All Presidential quotes David Letterman’s page

David Letterman’s thirteen quips about presidents serve up a quick, humor‑infused snapshot of his take on power and public life. It’s a brief, entertaining entry point for anyone curious about his satirical angle.

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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential candidate, is going to fight Evander Holyfield for charity. I hope they save some of that money…

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The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

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Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but…

David Letterman

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Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection,…

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The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy?

David Letterman

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Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new…

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Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now…

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President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans…

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Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment…

David Letterman

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Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war…

David Letterman

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I heard this today and I thought this was fascinating and interesting. President Bush has two daughters, two beautiful daughters, and they…

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New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a…

David Letterman

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Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie.

David Letterman

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More by David Letterman

Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it…

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You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and…

David Letterman

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It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights.

David Letterman

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There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They…

David Letterman

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I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet.

David Letterman

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Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice.

David Letterman

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We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since…

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I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal.

David Letterman

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“There is no off position on the genius”

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I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to…

David Letterman

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Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really…

David Letterman

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If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all.

David Letterman

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Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of…

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Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving.

David Letterman

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Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration.

David Letterman

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