“I cling to our love like saran wrap on leftovers. If you want to know when dinner will be ready, the answer… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is all around. I don’t need your leftovers, ma’am. Not unless you’re offering meatloaf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There were only two of us left for dinner, and that’s when I realized what I was: leftovers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“But if she could be here, she probably wouldn’t be here. But that won’t stop me from ordering for two, and if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I wanted to eat leftovers, I wouldn’t have taken a dump in the Tupperware.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s amazing that a thin film of plastic wrap is enough to protect food against the aggression of hungry marauders. Or maybe… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
