When I watch TV I can tell when someone is punching the joke and telling me when to laugh (I’ll decide when… — Nathan Fillion Copy Share Image
Jokes are one of the things that bind the culture. If you can't have jokes about everybody in society and if one… — Mark Steyn Copy Share Image
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements. — Paballo Nhambiri Copy Share Image
Whereupon a strange euphoria came over me. Not only was I exiled, paralyzed, mute, half deaf, deprived of all pleasures, and reduced… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
We suppose that could be considered a hedged position for the awards committee, one that would never occur in the hard sciences… — Seth Klarman Copy Share Image
A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke. — Arthur Miller Copy Share Image
The whole point of animation to me is to tell a story, make a joke, express an idea. The technique itself doesn't… — Terry Gilliam Copy Share Image
“We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
“Some disabled people spend a significant amount of their energy on trying to come across as abled or as not that disabled.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
I sort of try to write everything for me. I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't… — Norm MacDonald Copy Share Image
Other than his ex-wife and despite appearances with a series of cultivated blondes, Edward de Bono has never publicly aligned himself with… — Antonella Gambotto-Burke Copy Share Image
Sometimes you look out the window and you look at all the windows, and think inside very single one of them is… — Meryl Streep Copy Share Image
There have always been jokes all over our songs; I originally started writing lyrics to make my friends crack a smile, which… — Alex Turner Copy Share Image
Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everybody is different. Some comedy is more musical like Steven Wright. His is a pillar of comedy to me. He invented a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
We're not going to have a wall [on Southern border] like now which is either non-existent or a joke. — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
If you think something's funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty. — Olivia Munn Copy Share Image
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can't help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Women are often pushed into the idea that they write softer, more character-driven jokes. — Allison Silverman Copy Share Image
I don't like any one race or look or type of guy. My tastes as far as looks go are very diverse.… — Sasha Grey Copy Share Image
It's pretty easy to hear what people are physically responding to versus what's just flat as a pancake in the room when… — Elizabeth Banks Copy Share Image
My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when… — Joey Adams Copy Share Image
I found, especially with stand-up, that if a premise works, you can make the joke work. If a premise doesn't work, you… — Nick Kroll Copy Share Image
People still want to escape, but today's escape is different. People now want to know that there are people out there who… — Darius McCrary Copy Share Image
Driving somebedy's car is a joke because you listen to their favourite music — Musa Nkutha Copy Share Image
I said I kicked a French chicken in the stomach once." "Huh?" "It said, 'Oeuf.'" "What is that?" "It's a joke. Do… — Jonathan Safran Foer Copy Share Image
We're all just a bundle of habits shaped by our memories. And to the extent that we control our lives, we do… — Joshua Foer Copy Share Image
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