I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids! — Milton Berle Copy Share Image
I understand what a normal political speech is. You get up there, tell a few jokes, you have the flags behind you,… — Bernie Sanders Copy Share Image
I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh. — Kathy Griffin Copy Share Image
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb. — Scott Roeben Copy Share Image
I just love that part of comedy, where you see somebody's jokes develop. They try something new to see what works, and… — Maria Bamford Copy Share Image
Comedy Central made me delete the Boston Marathon joke. I wasn't happy about it but, despite popular belief, I can occasionally be… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
Even 'Lord of the Rings' had dwarf-tossing jokes in it. It's like, 'Really?' — Peter Dinklage Copy Share Image
You can be merry with the king, you can share a joke with him. But as Thomas More used to say, it's… — Hilary Mantel Copy Share Image
It's a difficult line to tread, where sometimes you go to the movies or you watch someone do publicity for movies or… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
The coming-of-age story has sort of become a joke. It's something to capitalize on, and that is painful because when you are… — Mae Whitman Copy Share Image
I stand above the tree level I am a tree I catch wind storm breaths My branches claw I drink sky It… — Marie Ponsot Copy Share Image
“Ok, this farmer is driving down the road in his truck and he comes to a state cop in the middle of… — Robert Wintner Copy Share Image
Beijing residents joke that to get a free smoke all they have to do is open their windows! — Lee Hsien Loong Copy Share Image
“Old Tom giggled, "Fooled ya, huh, Ma? We aimed to fool ya, and we done it. Jus' stood there like a hammered… — John Steinbeck Copy Share Image
Mama is funny. She has a great sense of humor and loves a good joke. Loves a practical joke, too. — Reba McEntire Copy Share Image
The State trained us to make other people's terrible jokes work, which is the other part of the game when you're here. — Robert Ben Garant Copy Share Image
Have you heard about the morning after pill, or what I like to call breakfast in bed. Well have you heard about… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
Would you ever cheat in relationship? I can't get one girl, how the hell do you expect me to get two — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We have come to expect campaigns to be mean and stupid and politicians to be unresponsive, self-seeking and for sale to the… — Donella Meadows Copy Share Image
I did a guest shot on a comedy series where they did 20 to 30 takes of everything. It's just gone by… — Dick Van Dyke Copy Share Image
