Patton Oswalt

The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And…

— Patton Oswalt

I can't say that I ever abided nerd stereotypes: I was never alone or felt outcast.

— Patton Oswalt

“If I hear the term ‘healing journey’ one more f–king time… It is not a ‘healing journey.’ It’s a ‘numb slog.’ It’s…

— Patton Oswalt

I think I realized it was an art form at the beginning, but it took me a really long time before I…

— Patton Oswalt

I wish I had a really cool, esoteric answer, but what the process is to me is going onstage night after night…

— Patton Oswalt

If I were to just focus on stand-up, I could actually, paradoxically enough, be home way more, because I would leave on…

— Patton Oswalt

“hobos' (a slang term that combines the words 'hope' and 'bowl of beans given to me for free by a woman who…

— Patton Oswalt

As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is…

— Patton Oswalt

We're rewarding either the reality or the appearance of youth, which is why you have all these people in their fifties trying…

— Patton Oswalt

With a comedian, it's the opposite. You put that album out, and they've heard it. If they're coming out to see you,…

— Patton Oswalt

If you actually do cold readings, it's very close to how people actually talk, because you're experiencing these thoughts anew every moment,…

— Patton Oswalt

What I was trying to say in that bit, without saying it out loud, is that there were things - you're right,…

— Patton Oswalt

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as "Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice"?

— Patton Oswalt

It wasn't until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life - and then went to San…

— Patton Oswalt

I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle,…

— Patton Oswalt

I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I'm gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy…

— Patton Oswalt

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.

— Patton Oswalt

Wars are usually really popular with people that aren't gonna be affected by them. 'Cause it's just entertainment, and it's just weird,…

— Patton Oswalt

The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, "I'm an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job."…

— Patton Oswalt

If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.

— Patton Oswalt

The problem is, and I'm just as guilty of this, a lot of people see their follower count increase and mistake that…

— Patton Oswalt

Everything we have today that's cool comes from someone wanting more of something they loved in the past. Action figures, videogames, superhero…

— Patton Oswalt

Every zombie story is fundamentally about a breakdown of order, with the infrastructure intact. That infrastructure might be on fire, yes.

— Patton Oswalt

There's all kinds of those moments in your life where either through a weird set of circumstances, or a song you hear,…

— Patton Oswalt

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

— Patton Oswalt