“I didn't want to be DRUNK. IN. PUBLIC. I wanted to be drunk in a BAR. I was THROWN. into. public.” — Ron White Copy Share Image
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy. — Ron White Copy Share Image
If I'm in a town for very long, usually I'll work out in the comedy club just to keep my chops or… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I'll create more comedy. It's just when I shut off and stay… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share Image
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share Image
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share Image
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share Image
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share Image
