When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range. — Ron White Copy Share Image
Years ago, while I was watching a baseball game between the Baltimore Orioles and the Texas Rangers, I remember staring in awe… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I'm definitely guilty of thinking something is funny but thinking the audience won't. Then three years later I will finally try it… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the… — Ron White Copy Share Image
I have had a front row seat to observe Darren's success over the last few years and never fully knew the keys… — Ron White Copy Share Image
The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down… — Ron White Copy Share Image
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. — Ron White Copy Share Image
There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Any time someone achieves success before they've earned it, it always comes back to haunt them. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I BELIEVE THAT IF LIFE GIVES U LEMONS U SHOULD MAKE A LEMONADE...AND TRY TO FIND SOMEONE WHOSE LIFE HAS GIVEN THEM VODKA,AND JUST… — RON WHITE Copy Share Image
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm… — Ron White Copy Share Image
When I was 20, I used to go around telling stories, and I knew where I was comfortable - onstage, talking, making 'em laugh… — Ron White Copy Share Image
There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin. — Ron White Copy Share Image
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever - plumbers and drywall hangers. — Ron White Copy Share Image
All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could… — Ron White Copy Share Image
In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill… — Ron White Copy Share Image
