“Giving up giving up—it’s good for your health. Make love like you just stole it. And remember, always wash your hands after… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t like salad dressing. I prefer salad undressing. I’m a health freak. And I do mean freak.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Yes, fruits and vegetables are healthy. But you want to know why I eat them? Revenge.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My writing, it’s all I have. Well, aside from my health. And shelter, food, and clothing. Oh, and my cat.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
