You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook, turn your computer off, go to bed, role over, and… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
The best feeling when u get out da shower & u can walk around ya spot nake — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
What I thought from my facebook fans would be,'Thumbs up admin,you are doing a great job'. but I find it to be,'Hallo… — Jamsta E Ngugz Copy Share Image
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I never knew you could offend someone by masturbating. This couple just opened their closet and they look really pissed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, That man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. We text or call to say we're outside. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;) — Me Copy Share Image
I hate it when I do something like a ninja and there is nobody around to see! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Now, Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Tears running down my face like rain, who would have ever thought that love would come with so much pain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
TIP...(Ladies)...neva kill yaself ova a dude cause that same dude would bring his new girl 2 ur funeralª — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she was stupid, but I asked her how to spell Mississippi and she said 'the river or the state?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll be ready in 5 minutes is exactly the same as I'll be home in 5 minutes. — Ewshy Copy Share Image
Its 2014 n still FB dint give us the option to tell that sitting on commode — MOHAMMAD Copy Share Image
I got expelled from the public library for putting all the 'Women's Rights' books in the fiction section. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are only 2 things wrong in family reunion. The family thing & The reunion thing. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I feel like Tony the Tiger whenever I see breasts because They're more than good, They're great!!! — Prince Shawn Copy Share Image
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you see me smiling it's because I'm thinking of doing something evil or naughty. If you see me laughing it's because… — Emalie Newhall Copy Share Image
Without our immigrants, who will kick our field goals, or train our white tigers? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Taking subtle shots at someone on Facebook and acting cool to their face=bitch move — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To all those i've hurt in the past I'd just like to say....ah well you probably deserved it — Avi Chauhan Copy Share Image
