What does it show when your popular on facebook... Shows you have no life — Anonymous Copy Share Image
New condom slogan: Wrap it in latex or she's going to get your paychecks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you bend over in front of pinnochio and he lies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to glew my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I'm a T-rex. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT AND I'M AT HOME ON FACEBOOK DON'T LAUGH SO ARE YOU... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
English teachers tend to put more thought in the books than the author did — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Obama's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches.' Romney's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches assuming that bitch can afford healthcare.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No, I don't stop the microwave at 0:01 to feel like a bomb defuser...I stop it because I hate the f*cking beeping… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So first it was The end of the world now it's zombie appocalypse,What's next? Dinosaurs are going to rise up and eat… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man once said... relationships are like jacking off.... no doubt, they're amazing.. but they always end in a mess. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mark Zuckerberg was the owner of the Facebook Steve Jobs was the owner of Dell AND I was the owner of right… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh you got Swag? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My insomnia is so bad that even when I do sleep I dream about lying awake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My penis should make me breakfast on morning. It is always up before I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Jesus, I can afford wine. How about you start turning water into gas? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are all of Taylor Swifts songs about the same guy, or is she just a whore? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when u run into a spider web and suddenly know kung fu — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've given up trying to escape from reality..they always find me anyway!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women may be able to fake an orgasm, but men can fake a whole relationship — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What is 2.5 inches long and can satisfy a woman every-time? A credit card. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A real man can stay loyal to his woman without getting sidetracked by hoes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy; Wait! Don't step on it! Girl; Why? Boy; Coz when mommy does, she cries — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say you can't live without love but I think oxygen is more important — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I fake sleep when my family members come in my room so they dont talk to me — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have to give me CPR and your breath stinks, just let me die please.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Music, Sleep, Sex, and video games are the most effective stress relievers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They should make a reality TV show called, 'Jersey Shore meets Shark Week.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans, I...Can't...Breathe! Sincerely, Your Balls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
