I never said I hated you. I said if you were on fire I might consider roasting marshmallows. BIG DIFFERENCE!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
English teachers tend to put more thought in the books than the author did — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That uncomfortable moment when you're in the car and you look at the people in the car next to you. Then you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying I am Batman, I am just saying that no one has ever seen me and Batman in the same… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is so much shit coming out of your mouth.. sometimes I get confused whether to give u a mouth freshener or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend of mine said onions are the only food that could make you cry. That was before I hit him in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls are the best vehicles in the world because: 2 beautiful headlights in front, 2 great bumbers at the back, self-lubricating when… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This could be so much more. So much more than a casual kiss, and a quick caress beneath the sheets. This really… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you have boobs. It's really that simple. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me? Behave? Seriously!! As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Slap a player, stomp a bitch; they both ain't nothing but some nasty tricks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says Look, a dead bird. Blonde looks up in the sky, WHERE, WHERE? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey autocorrect, stop messing with my damn curse words. You mother forklift. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just let me know if there's anything I can do this month to further the cause of healthy breasts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If ants were the size of humans, they would be able to run twice as fast as a Lamborghini. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Rumors. Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dog thinks I am patting his belly...little does he know I am playing the most epic drum solo of all time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
