If U don't hear from me in a few days, then Just Know Am having Brain Upgrade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm much more upset about Breaking Bad's shutdown than about the government's. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a black kid asks you to pass the skin colored crayon. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you don't have a good signal on your phone and you go all lion king on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how some people can keep up with both their Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook...I cant even keep up with the Kardashians. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: you are the most funniest and beautiful girl I have ever met. Girl: you just want to fuck me. Boy: wow.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I felt so bad last night for having this one night stand, the following day I got another one for the other… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Freedom of speech is lost when you get into a relationship and she is beautiful — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you think you're having a bad day just picture a T-Rex trying to masturbate. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between tan and looking liked you rolled around in Doritos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man is a king, a king is a ruler. A ruler is 12 inches, still think ur a man? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it's only a poster on a wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never argue with an idiot. People watching won't be able to tell the difference — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder how people would react if I walked into Sea World with a fishing pole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My excuse for being lazy: I'm not the real slim shady, so why would I stand up? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today I saw a baby with a bib that said 'This dumbass put my cape on backwards.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He is so lazy that if there were work in bed,he would rather sleep on the floor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Easily the best thing about Facebook: The ability to read other people's fights. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
No tears,no fears,respect it don't neglect it! I let my haters be my motivators! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey I just f%cked you, and this is crazy. The condom broke, so here's your baby. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure that if Walt Disney watched 'Disney Channel' today, he would cry — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I aspire to be the beautiful, together person my Facebook profile suggests I am. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Looks like Facebook and myspace got divorced but Facebook got the all the kids :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If internet was a human being; Every time he slow, I will put extra coffee to him — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
