That awkard laugh when no sound comes out and your clapping like a retarted seal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Home alone; Thoughts = Party!!!! WOOOHOOOOO!!! Reality = Peeing with door open... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hope you're feeling okay after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're so full of shit! If you're really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the grass is greener on the other side watch out, there must be a septic tank! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If days of the week were sex acts, Monday would be a dry, passionless, handjob... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if there will be a day where they were fucking sick of making calendars? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thinks its funny when girls use slutty profile pics to get attention, might as well have a status that says my shit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that throws up so many people that they have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Do you want to make money from Facebook? It's easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just thought I'd let you know I've been diagnosed with awesomeness. You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to deactivate my FB account, but I know I would be proud of myself and want to announce it to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Big Sean's voice was Siri's Voice on the iPhone 5...'Turn left boiiii...Wait, HOLD UP! Whoa Dereee! Wrong way! Swerveeeee.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sweet candies are nice to eat.Sweet words are easy to say. But, sweet people are hard to find. OH MY GOD! How… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Liking ur own status on face book is like giving urself a high five in real life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent and now he'll never have any friends. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Google+ is the gym of social networking: We all join, but nobody actually uses it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyones middle name should be, motherfuckin...try it. Doesn't it sound so great? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you press CTRL + W and never knew what it did until then. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your ass is like a wallet without cash, jeans without pockets... flat and useless. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you have boobs. It's really that simple. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The other day at radio shack a manager was giving out dead batteries free of charge — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works.... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most important in movie is having a bad character; Not the Hero and the Heroine — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the eye doctor...Doctor: Please read the lowest line you can. Me: Made in China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would love to start working out, but I'm putting on weight for my before picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Who ever says words can't hurt you has never got hit in the face with a dictionary! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friends are like condoms. They are always there to protect you when things get hard. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a disorder where I stay up all night and eat ... Its called insom-nom-nom-nia — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bitch, you're a booty call stop putting your relationship status as it's complicated — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
