Mondays rock...Anyone who doesnt like mondays, must not just work 3 days a week like I do. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The torture that they are coming up with in China is so creative. They have this other method where they'll take a… — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
If you appreciate her, love her, and respect her, I can guarentee you won't lose her. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We shall escape the absurdity of growing a whole chicken in order to eat the breast or wing, by growing these parts… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
Roses are blue, violets are red, if you come near me one more time I will chop off your head! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with sparkle for men. It's so funny watching people's reaction to a disco-ball shoe! — Brad Goreski Copy Share Image
They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go… — Nassim Nicholas Taleb Copy Share Image
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: lets see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Awkward Momment WhenSomeone Deletes There Comment So It Looks Like Your Talking To Your Self.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If A Girl Talks Sweetly She Is Charming If A Boy Talks Sweetly He Is A Flirt — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone tells a funny strory but nobody laughs and then they say it was a — KiDD Heartbreak Copy Share Image
I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
When you're a funny person,Most people don't know how to take you seriously. — Abhishek Tiwari Copy Share Image
I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
Looking back on the event, I find myself thinking there are three approaches to journalism represented here. One is the "cool" approach… — David "Doc" Searls Copy Share Image
The most deadly picture is a picture of nothing at all. The colors are there, but there is no image, nothing. — William S. Burroughs Copy Share Image
The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
I always say if God didn't allow any bad things to happen we would already be in heaven, and we are not… — Benjamin Carson Copy Share Image
To go from working with a group of people in a sketch-comedy show on a small network, where it was all about… — Ken Marino Copy Share Image
Yes, I've been down the pike and back. And through the years, I've heard different songs with scatting in it, and it… — J. J. Cale Copy Share Image
It's better to laugh without a reason than to cry for a worthless person. — EwshyCrazyness Copy Share Image
Customers long to interact with - even relate to - employees who act like there is still a light on inside. — Chip R. Bell Copy Share Image
“There was no way to have a civilized conversation with that guy. It's like he was raised by giraffes or something.” — H.M. Ward Copy Share Image
I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny. — Robert Webb Copy Share Image
I was the class podiatrist. I never made it to class clown. I wasn't funny enough. I would examine feet and prescribe… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Leadership is not about experience, education or talent. It's about choosing to lead. — Michael Hyatt Copy Share Image
You're at Starbucks? Please post pictures of your coffee, I've never seen one before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy… — Danielle Panabaker Copy Share Image
