Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally, I… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell,… — Bruce Baum Copy Share Image
The funny thing about bowl recipes is, despite how simple they might seem, they can actually be a lot of work. — Chris Morocco Copy Share Image
And it is only the woman who cheers her husband through lifes thick and thin, good and bad situations and stands firmly… — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“Dear Mom, I won't be home this weekend because I'm wanted for treason and I have to clear my name. Also, I… — Mac Barnett Copy Share Image
I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still… — Brooke Nevin Copy Share Image
“Nessa held her arm up. She was staring at it, trying to gauge how big that was. “Dude, that’s as big as… — Erin Jamison Copy Share Image
A laughing Lear would be monstrous. Not so a laughing Romeo and Juliet. — Mason Cooley Copy Share Image
A #GIRLBOSS is in charge of her own life. She gets what she wants because she works for it. — Sophia Amoruso Copy Share Image
I always write about my own experiences, whether I've had them or not. — Ron Carlson Copy Share Image
Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The dance is not where we lose ourselves. But where we find ourselves. — Gabrielle Roth Copy Share Image
You, you, and you...panic. The rest of you, come with me. — US Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt Copy Share Image
You ever go to shop for tuna, and it says "dolphin safe", and you look at it and kind of go, "Yeah,… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
“I listened in on a KKK rally but all I could hear was a bunch of white noise.” — Rick Silber Copy Share Image
Controls them and subdues, transmutes, bereaves Of their bad influence, and their good receives. — William Wordsworth Copy Share Image
It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“The poorly sophisticated, since many of us are, as presumed to be, lacking in good arguments, we are then prone to being… — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
I guess one that wouldn't be obvious is - well, maybe it's super obvious, I can't tell - 'I Love Lucy' is… — Kate Micucci Copy Share Image
Don’t see the mind for more than it is, but don’t misread it for all that it can be. — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
I need music. Without music, my ears are just boring devices used to listen to stupid people talking about meaningless things. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
God is inexhaustibly attainable in the totality of our action. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin Copy Share Image
I think people were just seriously happy to find a funny woman who does comedy like a man. Because I learned how… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
The doctor:it doesn't have stabilizers river: the blue switches. the doctor: well the blue switches don't do anything. they're just blue river:… — The Doctor & River Song Copy Share Image
