“The amount of educational programming on television today is simply desensitizing. The only reason left to go to school is to see… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“The thing about being an unstoppable force is that you can really only enjoy the experience of being one when you have… — Allie Brosh Copy Share Image
The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but… — Adam McKay Copy Share Image
And it's very, very funny When you've lots and lots of money To be horrible to those with none! Be horrible to… — Anna Russell Copy Share Image
When you're in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again.… — Ridley Scott Copy Share Image
My name is "A Pimp named Slickback" Wait... A Pimp?? ... Named Slickback. Yes, please say the whole thing if you would.… — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
I am such that person that, when I'm working, I'm like, 'Oh, what I wouldn't give for a weekend off!' And then,… — Cassidy Freeman Copy Share Image
I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English… — Alain de Botton Copy Share Image
“A seemingly simple task like taking a bath or wearing a condom feels like multitasking to someone who suffers from hemiplegia or… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
If somebody tells you that you smell, the best answer is: No its not me, your mouth is too close to your… — J-Young Copy Share Image
Until I became a parent, I thought children just naturally knew how to catch a ball, that catching was an instinctive biological… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Unlike singers, who can earn for years by singing one song, we artistes have to be on our toes all the time.… — Binnu Dhillon Copy Share Image
I think I was always a class clown growing up and a funny kid. I never really knew how to channel that… — Lauren Lapkus Copy Share Image
It's sad how the death of one earpiece of your headphones leaves the other to a life of neglect & uselessness for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It wasn't funny." "Oh, mon coeur . It was the funniest thing I've ever heard." "Jude!" she cried, stomping her foot before… — Victoria Dahl Copy Share Image
My first proper kitchen was this funny little club that we set up in Mercer Street in Covent Garden. It got shut… — Fergus Henderson Copy Share Image
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN YOU ARE READING SOMEONES GRAPHIC TEE ANDIT LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE STARING AT THEIR BOOBS.. - — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We show her that I am no feckless High king.' 'And how do we do that?' I ask. 'With great difficulty,' he… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just… — Betty White Copy Share Image
“They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it’s free, has no bad side effects and is available to… — Mindy Levy Copy Share Image
“[Science] works! Planes fly. Cars drive. Computers compute. If you base medicine on science, you cure people. If you base the design… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
I love Justin Bieber Well, I love McDonalds but you don't see me making an account pretending to be a fucking chicken… — Maicy Rasmus Copy Share Image
Dear Mom & Dad, when you said- Let's go, I assumed you were ready to go also. Sincerely,Been waiting in the car… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“W-what do you want?" I asked, thankful that my voice only trembled a little bit. That Cat Didn't blink. "Human," he said,… — Julie Kagawa Copy Share Image
“So you’re her brother?” says Lynn. “I guess we know who got the good genes.” I laugh at the expression on Caleb’s… — Veronica Roth Copy Share Image
“So if you're trying to play games with me, I should let you know up front that it's not going to work.… — Tehereh Mafi Unravel Me Copy Share Image
For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets,… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I hope radio is more popular than it might seem. There aren't that many radio plays on and I think they have… — Charlotte Ritchie Copy Share Image
“I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Its the thing that satisfies your mind, body & soul! Do it on bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere!… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
“So, what if you are not naturally funny? Don’t get discouraged. Do your research, gather ideas, and find your fun. Seek ways… — Susan C. Young Copy Share Image
Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I realise there are situations where I camp it up, make myself into a sort of novelty character to ease things along.… — Perfume Genius Copy Share Image
There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
The seeing of Truth cannot be dualistic (a 'thing' seen). It cannot be seen by a see-er, or via a see-er. There… — Wei Wu Wei Copy Share Image
Normal Teenager: Makes sure tobe quiet while sneaking out of the house at 1am. Me: Makes sure to be quiet while making… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shes a slut for having sex with one guy? Thats funny since Im pretty sure you sleep with more guys every night… — MeaghanB Copy Share Image
“Speaking of… does this mean you get your phone back?” I shrug. “I don’t really want that phone back. I’m hoping my… — Colleen Hoover Copy Share Image
When you've not answered any inboxes.. Your online status is off.. And you've been stalking the Live Chat for nearly an hour..… — Andrew James Copy Share Image