The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut!… — Allan Sherman Copy Share Image
“That spot was taken," Kara sat up to look at them. Stylized, short, black hair with bangs. Piercing blue eyes. Proper posture.… — Alexis Tiger Copy Share Image
Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goalo. — David Coleman Copy Share Image
There's not a lot you can do about the national economy but there is a lot you can do about your personal… — Zig Ziglar Copy Share Image
Sometimes you feel like people go, 'Oh, he just does funny dances,' or 'That's cute.' It drives me a little crazy when… — Casey Nicholaw Copy Share Image
I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed.… — Bill Burr Copy Share Image
Big shout out to Nas: if you want to scream my name out again and put my name in your rhyme, I… — Damon Dash Copy Share Image
“She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into… — John Green Copy Share Image
The Rolling Stones suffered a great loss with the death of Ian Stewart, the man who had for so many years played… — Andy Peebles Copy Share Image
I do like writing. When I was a little kid, I used to love writing funny, silly stories - and my mom… — Laurie Hernandez Copy Share Image
The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks. — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
A man walks into a pet shop and says: "Give me a wasp." The shopkeeper replies: "We don't sell wasps." He says:… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
They better not put me in the All -Star Game. I won't shoot, but I'll dominate that easy game. I'll be playing… — Metta World Peace Copy Share Image
“Things hit a limit, though, when I was set upon by a pickpocket in a baker's shop. I didn't notice that I… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
Dear iPhone, I have typed hahaha like a million times, yet you continually give me hagaha, baha, gaga... I hate you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Radical Edwards's profile? He's a seven-foot tall ex-basketball pro hindu guru drag-queen alien. -Jet Black, from the Cowboy Bebop anime script” — Keiko Nobumoto Copy Share Image
I probably am a cranky writer, but I am actually a fairly nice, normal person. Since I'm a grouchy writer, of course… — Sarah Vowell Copy Share Image
Dear parents, Pinocchio was a liar. Cinderella lied and snuck out at night to attend a party. Sincerely, it's not our fault,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
9 year olds today have Facebooks, twitters, phones, ipods. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayon, chalk &… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. For Example John has 30 chocolate bar he eats 23,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute --… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
“yes, i have dated Salvador Dali guy when i was a high school girl. he was a great lover. but i had… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
“I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I got thrown out of my local bookshop for moving the Caution - Wet Floor sign and placing it next to the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Oh gods.' 'Which one are you calling out for?' he asks against my flesh. 'Because it's just you and me in this… — Rebecca Yarros Copy Share Image
On the seemingly one-sided relationship between Michael Jordan and his shoe sponsors Nike- The company should change its name to Mike. — Alvin Robertson Copy Share Image
I believe in accepting whatever life offers with a laugh. So if things are dark and terrible, I try to find the… — Shenaz Treasury Copy Share Image
“And even if we did, which we didn't, it's none of your business." "Okay." "I just wanted you to know." "Okay." "If… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try… — Matt Groening Copy Share Image
“But at times words can be a dangerous addition to music — they can pin it down. Words imply that the music… — David Byrne Copy Share Image
Iphone n Ipad users too busy thinking abt how to make blackberry users feel inferior wit their Instagram n photoshop, but blackberry… — Ms Paradeez Copy Share Image
“I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on… — Tara Gilesbie Copy Share Image
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment… — Will Smith Copy Share Image
I don't like the whole blowing the candles out ritual... blowing their germs all over the cake. If I want to catch… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One… — Diana Vreeland Copy Share Image
I look at the world and I find the funny in it, because there's funny in everything. No matter how ugly it… — Charlie Murphy Copy Share Image
Teacher: What's the opposite of laughing? Student: Fucking Teacher:How's that? Student: Laughing is ha..ha..ha & Fucking is ah.. ah.. ah — Jugi Steady Copy Share Image
“Push the chair in too quickly or too slowly, or else sit too soon or too heavily, and misadventure ensues, perhaps even… — Laini Taylor Copy Share Image
There's nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
