Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
MARRIED MAN, a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: I'll be right out — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It seems that for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential. — Hans Asperger Copy Share Image
“I lost something magical in the process of growing up – my disillusionment.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
If you're not doing it for Allah, then don't expect any help from Allah. — Omar Suleiman Copy Share Image
“Awesome." "Awesome squared." "Awesome cubed." "Awesome to the power of infinity." "The square root of awesome is-" "-Asha." We finish at the… — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
When someone says everything happens for a reason, I'd like to smack them and say, 'Yeah, I guess you're right.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's kind of a funny way to put it, but if you want to study a dynamic economic system, what you'd like… — Lars Peter Hansen Copy Share Image
I feel like network didn't want me. I was doing all these pilots, and it never worked out. I was like, network… — Abigail Spencer Copy Share Image
Noisy people be like mine your business. why? because you looking in that guy car so hard you probably know what color… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
Funny enough, the person who is most bummed out to hear I won't be back is Mark Cuban. Despite what you might… — Chris Sacca Copy Share Image
By coming forward and sharing your story, you don't know the countless lives you change. — Mariska Hargitay Copy Share Image
Everything can be sacrificed for truth, but truth cannot be sacrificed for anything. — Swami Vivekananda Copy Share Image
“Thank goodness, I can always find something funny to keep me up.” — Louisa May Alcott Copy Share Image
At 20 years of age the will reigns; at 30 the wit; at 40 the judgement. — Benjamin Franklin Copy Share Image
“Once I started I couldn’t put it down. It was so addictive . . . like a train wreck.” — Katie Klein Copy Share Image
Seeing a spider isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when it disappears. — Sharlene05 Copy Share Image
We realized that no one of us could be as good as all of us playing unselfishly. — Bill Bradley Copy Share Image
Humor is essential to survival. Funny poems are vastly underrated. Very underwritten. — Rachel Zucker Copy Share Image
The thing that's wrong with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
Beauty can come from the strangest of places, even the most disgusting of places, — Alexander McQueen Copy Share Image
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether. — Johnny Vegas Copy Share Image
Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
“I have never wanted to punch a highway in the face as badly as I do right now.” — Seanan McGuire Copy Share Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I guess you were just one of those people that walked into my life, taught me a lesson, and then walked away — Anonymous Copy Share Image
