years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When God saves you, he doesn’t do it because you gave him permission. He did it because he’s God. — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
Anytime I have a hammer in hand,things all around me start to look like nail — Ace Kid Copy Share Image
Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Occasionally even young children should listen to the sword can not work hand and hand sword can not work — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
“The fish is that perfect, amazing guy it can never work out with—you know, a bird and a fish may fall in… — Lisa Daily Copy Share Image
“What’s your favourite position?” “I usually play winger.” “Zach, I adore you, but you can’t make soccer jokes during phone sex. It… — Tiffany Reisz Copy Share Image
Funny enough, the first time I watched 'Arrow' was because Audrey Marie Anderson, who plays Lyla, was in my episodes of 'The… — Juliana Harkavy Copy Share Image
In most audience-participation shows, the participant is so clearly not a part of what's going on that it's the fish-out-of-water aspect that… — James Lapine Copy Share Image
“Coveralls," I reply, and I know I'm no longer screening what's coming out of my mouth. He raises a eyebrow, amused yet… — E.L. James Copy Share Image
When I was 12, I snapped my arm in two. My wrist still has a funny bump because they didn't join it… — Jessica De Gouw Copy Share Image
“Otter! Otter! Otter! Don’t lead cows to slaughter! I love you, and I know I should’ve told you soon-a But you didn’t… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
Until now has there ever been a time in which so many of the prophecies are coming together? There have been times… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually its reading his own handwriting. — G Norman Collie Copy Share Image
I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We're far worse than we ever imagined, and far more loved than we could ever dream. — Timothy Keller Copy Share Image
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever. — Sigmund Freud Copy Share Image
When women talk to each other, the devil sits in a corner quietly, learning! ;D — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Im a little angel...short and sweet...dont piss me off or your ass will get beat!!! — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
Sorry girl, I know you enjoy being single, but I am going to take that away from you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If one could possess, grasp, and know the other, it would not be other. — Emmanuel Levinas Copy Share Image
That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny. — Gloria Vanderbilt Copy Share Image
“It'd be funny if one of them was called Gavin. Funny but irrelevant.” — John Marsden Copy Share Image
Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer! — Louis Untermeyer Copy Share Image
I'm glad we'll have a night to rehearse getting blind drunk for the actual wedding reception — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If y0u want t0 die. d0nt let others suFfer on the c0nsequences that it would bring. — Meggy Copy Share Image
Lf you think this page is awesome haha then you should try Keep Laughing — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness. — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image